Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Left Hand of God


The Left Hand of God
Author: Paul Hoffman
Genre: Epic Fantasy
Release Date: January 7th 2010


DEFINITE SPOILER ALERT


The Good:
1. Awesome martial arts/skills being displayed
2. Epic wars
3. Beginning of the story was pretty good
4. Very high potential storyline






The Bad:
1. Hero falls for the hottest chick around, cliched much?
2. Hottest chick hates hero, ends up liking him cuz of his body and then even more so due his "kindred soul" (even though at the beginning she thought that he was pure "evil")
3. Oh not to mention that, Hero and friends got into all this trouble over another hot chick in the beginning of the story
4. Did I mention that this 2nd hot chick also likes the hero?
5. Not enough depth or detail in the parts about the war/battles between the Redeemers and the Materazzi


The Shizz:
1. A lot of contradictions in the storyline; for instance, the author wrote that Materazzi army was 10x the size of the Redeemers, when in reality (according to the numbers the author gave earlier), it was only twice the size. Unless they shat out a load of baby soldiers mid-march, that's a massive math fail.
2. A lot of modern jargon somehow got into the story. I was enjoying myself in the "medieval" setting of the story when suddenly a character starts saying "Or I'll blow his head off" and "traffic jams". Talk about a literary cockblock. This is a setting where people are using horses, swords/armor and sometimes bows and arrows. Where the FUCK did these people from the middle ages learn about modern terminology for concepts that are centuries ahead of their time? How does one go about blowing heads off with arrows/swords?
3. Hero is too overpowered. The GoD-mode is on with this guy. Turn it off please. 
4. Thank you, but losing a pinky because he was weak (mentally) whereas the other guy (top notched warrior-master) got 1 hit KOed by the Hero, is not exactly what I was hoping for when I asked for the God-mode to be turned off... 
5. The writing style leaves much to be desired. It doesn't exactly put you in the mood of the story, there are a ton of inconsistencies with the plot/historical/geographical style that just jerk you out into the real world again, wondering wtf is going on here.


Scores
Cover: 7
Characters: 3
Story: 4


Overall: 3.5/10
Comment:  It could have been way better.  I was hoping that it was as good as all the hype made it out to be. The author studied English at Oxford for God's sake! The alumni are supposed to be the BEST out there, especially if they majored in the Queen's fucking English! The Left Hand of God reads like something I shat out yesterday. Very disappointing read.

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